


Nothing Else Matters

by Deansimpallagrl, WuvWinchesterHugs



Series: Because You Let Me Pick the Music [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Married Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Mary Finds Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 14:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16536299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deansimpallagrl/pseuds/Deansimpallagrl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WuvWinchesterHugs/pseuds/WuvWinchesterHugs
Summary: Sam never imagined in his wildest dreams that he would ever see his mother alive.  Once she was brought back by Amara, he thought this was his chance to be happy and get to know his mother.  He had married Dean and was so proud of their relationship, but what happens when your mom who doesn’t know you finds out?  Sam had been so stunned when he first saw her, all thoughts of he and Dean went out the window until a day later when he realized Dean wasn’t acting like himself.





	Nothing Else Matters

Sam never imagined in his wildest dreams that he would ever see his mother alive. Once she was brought back by Amara, he thought this was his chance to be happy and get to know his mother. He had married Dean and was so proud of their relationship, but what happens when your mom who doesn’t know you finds out? Sam had been so stunned when he first saw her, all thoughts of he and Dean went out the window until a day later when he realized Dean wasn’t acting like himself.

Dean was taking any chance to have time to talk with Mary. They talked about everything under the moon and Sam felt more and more like the third wheel. He'd watch them talk and want to jump in on the conversations, but suddenly it just felt awkward around them; he still felt nervous around Mary.

He starts to panic when he realizes Dean wasn’t being affectionate towards him. At first, he thinks maybe it's just because they’re adjusting to their mom being back. Then he starts to think maybe since Mom was back, Dean didn’t want to be with him anymore. Maybe Dean was so worried about how she would react, he was even willing to bail on Sam. This horrible thought grew in Sam’s mind each day as his attempts at being intimate with Dean were brushed aside.

Before long, it's a couple days later, and they’re laying in bed, Sam trying his best to get Dean to talk. It’s just cuddling, but Dean had not been in the mood lately.

“Dean, what's going on with you?” Sam asks, listening to Dean’s heartbeat, head on Dean’s chest.

“What?” Dean’s heart starts beating a little faster, but his voice still sounds calm.

“You seem to be avoiding me.” Sam wiggles and rubs his thumb along Dean’s leg listening.

“Nope, just getting used to Mom being back.” Dean’s heart speeds up faster and Sam suspects he's lying.

“Dean, don’t you want me?” Sam is near tears as he opens his heart to his husband.

“C’mon Sammy, mom doesn’t need an eyeful.” Dean’s heart is pounding but the joking in his voice sets Sam off.

“Fine.” Sam gets up with a sigh and pulls on his pants to head to the bathroom, and hurries out of the room, tears in his eyes.

After that, Dean spends most of his time with Mary and acts like Sam doesn’t even exist. Sam decides to bury himself in research and searching for a case to occupy their time. His worry has now gotten to the point where he wonders if Dean's gonna decide he doesn’t want this relationship because their mom couldn’t accept it. How could she accept this? She might freak out because she doesn’t know them, and incest is something that no one talks about, especially not in a positive light. But this is so much more, because it's not just your average marriage, it's a melding of their souls and hearts; the sex is only a physical manifestation of the total connection they have. It's no one else’s business either; they’re not hurting anyone, and their bond has been monumental in saving this world more than once. Then it hits Sam like a smack in the face. Dean said Amara gave him what he wanted most and that was their mom. If that’s true, does that mean he doesn’t need Sam?

These thoughts send Sam to a dark place, making him start to think he needs to make the first move to protect himself from being rejected. He gets himself worked up a day later and goes quietly to their room after breakfast to pack his things and leave. He quickly packs his clothes and other possessions, tears falling down his face..

Dean, naturally, has always had a sixth sense about Sam, and when he feels his hairs start to stand up when he doesn't see Sam in his usual spots around the bunker. He hears movement as he walks by the bedroom and looks in to catch Sam packing. His heart jumps in his throat and he quickly shoves the door open, sliding to a stop in front of Sam, grabbing his husband's arms tightly so he won’t move. He looks him over and sees the tears and the puffy eyes, as well as the muscles in Sam’s jaw jumping with anger and determination.

“Sammy, what’s going on?!” Dean holds his breath, slightly scared of the answer.

“I can’t do this Dean.” Sam can’t look Dean in the eye, his heart screaming for him to stop.

“Can’t do what?” Dean feels cold.

“You’re ditching me for mom.” Sam tries to turn away as fresh tears fall.

“What?! No, I’m not!” Dean frowns

“You don’t want me anymore.” Sam manages to pull away and turn his back on Dean so he can continue packing.

“No fucking way!” Dean grabs one shoulder and turns Sam with a little more force.

“You’ve been completely ignoring me! What the hell am I supposed to think?!” Sam’s face is flushed, and he breathes hard.

“Wait, Sammy, listen to me. Please. I do want you. Sweetheart, of course I do. I'm just trying to get Mom comfy with us first before we tell her the truth.” Dean gently tilts Sam’s head down towards him and looks him straight in the eye, sending all his love.

“Sammy, you're all I've ever wanted. I love mom, I always will, but Amara was wrong. I need you. I want mom to be ready to know about us. If she can’t handle this then she has to go. It would hurt, but she's not worth giving up you. Nothing is.” Dean brushes his thumb over Sam’s chin, grinning.

Sam lets out his air in a rush and pulls Dean in for a hug, now feeling silly for thinking Dean didn’t want him. All he had to hear was those words from his soulmate’s lips, and just like that, he knows he's not going anywhere. He pulls back from the hug and they both lean in for a sweet and slow kiss, their lips brushing fire through them in a slow burning sweet heat. Sam feels happier than he has in the past few days, until he hears the gasp at the door.

They pull apart and their heads turn to the door. Mary is standing there her mouth open and eyes wide. She can’t speak, but her face tells them both all they need to know. Sam pulls away, trying to lessen the blow, and make himself invisible. But Dean holds him firm and pulls him closer, wrapping his arms around Sam in a possessive way. He whispers to Sam. “I meant everything I just said. Now I'm gonna prove it.”

“Mom, I'm sorry you had to find out like this, but it's true. We’re together.” Dean looks her straight in the eye as he says this, daring her to say something.

“Dean, this is so wrong. How can you take advantage of your brother like this?” Her cheeks are flaming red, unable to look at them holding each other.

Sam tries to pull away, not wanting to make it worse, but Dean gently holds firm, infusing him with more love.

“Our whole lives have been wrong mom. Nothing was ever normal. We’re adults and he wants this. I never forced him to do anything. We’re in love.” Dean rubs his thumb over Sam’s neck as he continues to keep Sam where he is, holding him close.

“I don’t know how you expect me to accept this. I don’t know what to say. My boys are boyfriends.” As she speaks, Mary goes pale and can’t move. Her thoughts are a whirlwind, not knowing what to land on.

Dean refuses to let her think that, slowly pulling up their rings and joining their hands high enough for her to see. There was almost a visible glow around them, and Mary’s astonished at the sight.

“Nope, not boyfriends. We're married, mom. Not just husbands, we’re soulmates. Four years ago, Sam asked me to marry him at a White Castle on Valentine’s day, then we got married in an old abandoned church while Angels fell from the heavens around us. We are completely bonded, body and soul. You don't have to do anything but let us be ourselves.” Dean leans his head on Sam’s shoulder as he pulls Sam’s head to rest on top of his own. She can’t stand there any longer, so she turns and walks away without another word. Sam turns to Dean, tears falling again.

“I’m so sorry Dean” Sam is so shell shocked.

“Shuddup Sammy. We were going to tell her anyway. She can accept it or go. But I love you. That ain't changing.” Dean assures him, still not letting go.

“I should go check on her.” Sam needs to repair this desperately, terrified she's gonna run.

“Nope. WE will check on her, when we’re good and ready to.” Dean kisses Sam gently, still not releasing him.

“I don’t have to tie you up right? You're staying?” Dean begs, his eyes pleading.

“No. I'm staying, Dean.” Sam feels so glad Dean knows just how to make him feel wanted and loved. Dean releases his grip, but just so he can lean back in for a sweet kiss. Just by a touch and a well-timed kiss, he can pull Sam back down to earth. He feels so, so lucky.

Later, they take off in search of her, but when they can’t find her, they decide to let her have some time to process. They go through the research and their normal day, while still on alert for sounds of Mary.

After lunch, Dean heads back from the kitchen, when he hears Mom’s voice. He heads in search of it, only to find her talking to Sam and the look on Sam’s face makes him instantly upset. Whatever she's saying, she's not being kind to Sam.

“Sam, you don’t have to let him do this to you. I thought you were smarter than that.” Mary’s face is flushed, waving a finger towards Sam; she looks like she is scolding a wayward child. She looks up when Dean comes in, but her face doesn't change. The only sound to be hears is Sam instantly heading to Dean’s side.

“Mom, don’t talk to him like that. Sam’s a grown man. You don’t have any authority here.” Dean reaches out to take Sam’s hand without looking and grips it tight, rubbing his thumb over Sam’s to soothe him.

“I am his mother, and I will protect him, even from you.” Mary has her shoulders squared, and if Dean wasn’t so angry, he would laugh as he can see himself in his mother’s posture.

“He doesn’t need that. Sam has always been able to hold his own. If you were here, you would know that.” Dean’s voice drops, sadness mixing with the anger. They needed her for so long, and now that she's there, all the things she missed leave an ache in his heart.

“That’s not my fault Dean.” Her eyes prick with tears, but her face doesn’t change.

“Enough, we just need you to accept this or leave.” Dean feels Sam shivering and he wishes that he could hold him, but this needs to happen between the three of them.

“I’m so lost. When I came back I didn’t know what to do with myself. You’re both grown men, and all I can see is the little boys I had in heaven. But this is, on top of feeling out of place in this world, I just can’t process it all. I thought maybe hunting would be the answer for me to be able to ease back into life here. Believe me, it's been nice, but I just can’t do this. I can’t stay here. I need to get my memories sorted out and get my feet under me. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I really don't think I can ever get used to you two, so I can’t commit to accepting that. You’re my boys, and I love you, but I have to go.” Mary looked at them, but her eyes couldn’t hold theirs. She doesn't want to leave things this way, but she can't stay. This isn’t her home. When they don't respond, she turns and walks to her bag and up the stairs. She stops at the top of the stairs to look back. She sees them holding hands, and turns away to the door, her face full of sadness as she goes out into the world.

The slamming of the door makes them both flinch, and they stand there for a minute, looking at the door as if she would return. They don't speak for a moment, then Dean turns, his shoulders folding in on themselves as he tries to let go of Sam’s hand. But Sam won’t let go, holding firm as he turns Dean to look at him.

“I need to you to stay with me Dean. Come with me. Please.” Sam leads Dean in a state of shock to their bedroom. Dean stumbles along, his face a mask of pain. He feels like he made all this happen; he started this with the need to kiss Sam, to keep Sam with him; his need to say something to their mom before she was ready, if she ever would be.

Dean’s so busy beating himself up, he didn’t even realize he was in his room and Sam had sat him on their bed, and pulled his shirt off and is now helping Dean off with his. The love and care on Sam’s face make tears spring into Dean’s eyes. Sam gently lowers Dean over onto his side in bed, and wraps Dean’s arms around his waist, then wraps his own around Dean and pulls him close. After their skin touches for a minute and Dean could only smell and feel Sam, he begins to relax, letting the heat and love from Sam wash over him. Sam rubs little circles on the small of Dean’s back and smiles into Dean’s hair as he feels Dean's muscles finally relax.

Sam aches inside from the loss of their mother. He’s not happy, but he has to help Dean through this. Dean may not say it out loud, but once he did have their mother around, he was so excited. He had never considered that mom might have a bad reaction to being pulled back into the world she left so long ago. Sam didn’t know what to do, and he frowns as he remembers bringing their mom John’s journal to try and help her with the story of how they grew up. He didn’t know how she would react, but he knew how he felt whenever he read that book. It was his guidebook to his young life and all that was going on at the time. John’s grief that poured through the first pages then it turns to chilling obsession.

“Sammy, I'm sorry. I never thought it would go this way. I don’t know what to do.” Dean apologizes, voice full of tears and terror.

“Don’t be sorry. The moment mom came back, I knew this could happen.” Sam was glad Dean couldn’t see the confusion and sadness on his face.

“I just can’t deal with anyone talking to you like that. Never could.” Dean’s muscles jumped as he relived the anger that simmered in him hearing mom talk to Sam like that.

“I didn’t know what to say to her. But I do know what to say now. You’re all I'll ever need Dean. That's why we’re married. I want mom in our lives, but I can’t make her deal with this.” Sam wishes he could find a spell to get her to forget, but he knows better than that.

“Sammy...goddamn, how did I get so damn lucky?” Dean puts the smile in his voice, but his face still can't hide the pain.

“Aw, I love you too Dean.” Sam smiles and holds his breath until he feels Dean’s rumbling chuckle in his chest.

“At least I’m not a monster huh? Well, at least not lately.” Dean’s sunny grin is on as he tilts his head up to see Sam’s face. It didn’t disappoint. His bitch face is on full blast, making Dean laugh.

“Very funny. You are so gonna pay for that.” Sam rolls Dean over on his back and grins as he leans down to nibble on Dean’s collar bone, feeling the shiver go through Dean. He knows if he can direct Dean to lovemaking, it’ll be easier to get him relaxed and resting so they can work on a game plan when they are both rested and ready. They’ve dealt with harder problems before, and in the end, this is just a bump in this long road they drive together.


End file.
